Two Shadows
by alien09
Summary: Puck wondered whether she believed him, or whether she thought it was merely a platitude meant to make her feel better./ Post 2x12. Rachel attempts to find who she was before Finn Hudson. Evanberry with eventual Puckleberry.
1. Chapter 1

**This is dedicated to LynZ_Ann, who is awesome sauce and demanded a rewrite to correct the travesty that was Season 2. **

**Set during/post 'Silly Love Songs'. Evanberry with eventual Puckleberry.**

Rachel hummed under her breath, her mouth curving upwards when she saw Blaine's head tilt towards Kurt in the booth. Mercedes caught her eye and raised an eyebrow, rolling her eyes until Tina elbowed her gently in the side. Mike sat beside his girlfriend, seemingly fascinated by the two Warblers across from him.

'Sup Rachel?' Puck said and she blinked to find Lauren and Puck at a table.

'Hello Noah, Lauren,' Rachel greeted the two mildly. 'I hope you two have had an enjoyable Valentine's Day.'

Lauren snorted and Puck flashed his eyes towards the wrestler before meeting Rachel's gaze.

'Nice song. Though I don't think a song about yourself really qualifies as a love song. Or maybe it does to Rachel Berry,' Puck mused, even going so far as to rub his chin. She was about to offer a witty retort when she caught sight of Sam, hunched over in the back and playing with the straw in his cup.

'Excuse me,' Rachel told the mismatched pair instead, mumbling something akin to a pleasantry before squaring her shoulders and heading towards Sam. Puck followed the line of her back, cocked his head in confusion when Rachel stopped at his friend's table.

'Do you mind if I join you?' Rachel started hesitantly, keeping her tone polite. Sam startled, blinking up at her before shrugging his shoulders.

'Sure. Not like anyone else is going to,' Sam muttered dryly and Rachel couldn't help sympathize with him a little bit. A thick, uncomfortable silence fell between them, Sam focused intently on his curly straw while Rachel worried her bottom lip trying to come up with something to say.

It dawned on her that it had been nearly six months since Sam had arrived at McKinley and she barely knew anything about him except that he was a glock (an abhorrent nickname the glee jocks had given themselves). There was also, of course, his rather plump mouth which Santana and Puck had spent a good amount of time needling him over. Glee was supposed to be a family, and not knowing Sam suddenly felt wrong. Rachel had been so caught up in her relationship with Finn that she had failed her duty as club captain to make Sam feel welcome.

'I know we aren't very close – and that is something that I hope to rectify – but I'm sorry that Finn gave Quinn mono,' Rachel blurted out finally. Her words caused Sam to lift his head.

'Are you apologizing for that douche?'

'No, I'm not. I know it doesn't seem that way, but Finn is actually a good guy.'

'Yeah, the kind that likes hitting up girls with boyfriends,' Sam pointed out bitterly, emitting a sharp scoff. 'God I was such a loser for even thinking Quinn was into me…and I don't know why I'm even telling you all this in the first place.'

'You're not a loser Sam,' Rachel told him firmly. 'Quinn was lucky to have you.'

'Then why did she do it? Why Finn?'

'I think you mean why Quinn?' Rachel corrected him, leaning forward. 'I've come to realize a lot of things today. The main one being that Finn and Quinn are always going to find their way back to each other. Many people think I'm the sun Finn revolves around.' She sighed, shaking her head. 'Instead I've just been the variable trying to throw that alignment off course.'

'But you love him,' Sam said, confused. 'That's what all the singing seemed to be about.'

'I think I'll always love Finn. He was the first boy to ever truly notice me, and despite how disastrous and utterly foolish the two of us have turned out to be, Finn Hudson will always have a place in my heart and in my memories. Whether that is a good or bad thing remains to be seen.'

'Quinn didn't care that I was such a huge dork. I didn't even mind that she, like, prayed after we made out. Even if it was kinda creepy. But she accepted me and I just…really wanted to show her how much I liked her too you know?'

'I know,' Rachel answered softly, tentatively reaching across to clasp her hand around Sam's. His stiffened for a moment before relaxing underneath her palm and Rachel took heart from that.

'You shouldn't let one girl make you feel this way about yourself,' Rachel said, squeezing his hand. 'If there's one thing I've learned while being in show choir, its that being in something makes you special.' She met his blue gaze meaningfully.

'You're not as bad as Quinn and the rest make you out to be,' Sam informed Rachel and she tried not to let the hurt that thrummed inside her chest show through. 'I mean you always seemed cool…scary intense sometimes, but like you were nice and stuff,' he hastily added on and Rachel assumed she hadn't been as successful as she thought she was.

'Thank you,' she cleared her throat, retracted her hand as she looked to the side. Something warm latched around her fingers and Sam smiled at her sheepishly.

'Sorry. That was lame. I didn't mean to insult you.'

'Well usually no one ever does,' Rachel announced too brightly, causing Sam to furrow his brow.

'You're the only one that's asked me how I was doing since…you know. You didn't have to-'

'Of course I did!'

'No, you really didn't. Like you said, we barely know each other,' Sam replied, chuckling.

'I still fail to see how that's a bar to common courtesy.'

'I know right?' Sam asked and Rachel saw with delight that he was actually smiling, a dimple forming in his cheek. 'What I was trying to say was thanks.'

'Oh. Well, you're welcome,' Rachel beamed at him. A loud bark of laughter reached her ears and Rachel twisted around to see Kurt throw his head back as Blaine chortled beside him.

'So are those two together or something? Kurt and Blaine I mean?' Sam's voice drew her back around.

'Apparently not but I don't believe a word. Want to help me dissect their every move?'

'You sure they won't mind?' Sam seemed to pick up on her offer of friendship, features nervous as he observed the booth their friends were in.

_I have friends!_

'You're one of us now Sam,' Rachel joked, sliding out of her seat and extending a hand towards him. 'For better or worse.'

Sam grasped her hand, the warmth making her want to shiver, as he stood and grabbed his letterman's jacket. He let go of her hand to shrug it on then stood awkwardly in front of her.

'They won't bite. I promise,' Rachel said, holding out the crook of her elbow. Sam quirked his lips and allowed her to loop this arm through hers, Santana glaring as they made their way past her table of one. Rachel thought of inviting the Latina as well but discarded the notion when Santana stomped out the door, brushing past Rachel as she did.

'Wow,' Sam mouthed in her direction. Rachel nodded at Puck and Lauren, the former with an odd expression on his face as he regarded Sam and then her. Remembering the rather unpleasant emotions that had churned through her during Puck's solo of _Fat Bottomed Girls_ Rachel tugged Sam forward insistently to avoid conversation.

'Guess who I ran into!' Rachel said cheerfully when she reached the booth, relieved when everyone extended a friendly greeting to Sam. As she settled into one of the chairs Sam had dragged over for them, Rachel couldn't help feel like this was the best Valentine's Day she had ever had.

Catching sight of Sam's horrified face when Blaine asked him where he got his highlights done, Rachel determined that this was the beginning of a new era.

It was time for the Rachel Berry she knew to come back, and she was determined to spend her time discovering who that was again.

**Follow me!**

**Twitter: aswordsworth**

**Tumblr: alien09(dot)tumblr(dot)com**


	2. Chapter 2

A week after Valentine's Day Rachel was surprised to find herself becoming friends with Sam Evans. Of course she had been hopeful that her extension of amity would be reciprocated, but her now solid friendships with Mercedes and Kurt were built on rather rocky foundations. Nonetheless Rachel welcomed Sam's impersonations and rather odd fascination with James Cameron's _Avatar_, if only because seeing him bounce back told Rachel that she could to.

'I just want to help out a little bit, you know? It sucks that they don't think I could,' Sam mumbled, tossing a football in the air while sprawled out on her bed. Rachel had invited him wordlessly when Sam had shown up on her doorstep an hour ago, simply saying that he was bored and thought she wanted to hang out.

_Sam Evans wants to hang out with me, Rachel Barbara Berry. This might sound petty but take _that _Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez!_

'Well parents often don't feel like they should burden their children about money,' Rachel replied, spinning around in her cushioned high-back chair. 'Nonetheless I think what you want to do is admirable. What skills do you possess exactly?' She asked, reaching for a legal pad and pen.

'I can snap a football pretty hard?'

'How about taking a job at a fast food restaurant? Those establishments always look to employ teenagers?'

'I can't expose my body to trans fats Rach,' Sam told her seriously.

'Well I know Noah has his own pool cleaning business, and I'm assuming that it was somewhat profitable. Maybe self-employment?' Rachel studied Sam's face, eyes narrowing when she noticed his hair.

'Why are you smiling like that?' Sam asked nervously, taking in the smile on Rachel's face.

'Sam, I believe I have a solution,' Rachel beamed, grabbing a fine-toothed comb and reaching for his blonde mane.

Which was how Sam found himself involved in the 'One Man Justin Bieber Experience'. Rachel zeroed in on his target audience – young Jewish girls celebrating their Bat Mitvahs with parents eager to hire cheap entertainment.

'Are you sure about this?' Sam whispered to her, peering around the curtain at the knot of thirteen year old girls giggling and texting on their phones.

'Trust me. I've done extensive research and while I fail to see the artistic integrity in Justin Bieber, there is no discounting the stranglehold he has on the short attention spans of adolescent females.'

'I have…no idea what you just said,' Sam hissed back, gripping his guitar and tugging on his purple hoodie.

'You're an attractive, obviously well-built blonde who can sing. They'll eat you up,' Rachel rolled her eyes, bouncing on her hells as she gave him a pat on the shoulder. 'I assured Mr Adler that you were worth the three hundred dollars. Don't disappoint me.'

Rachel flounced away as Sam stared at her, open-mouthed. 'Did she just say _three hundred dollars_?'

Holding the money in his hands later that night, Sam didn't know how to thank Rachel. Peeling off a hundred, he forced it into her protesting hands.

'I couldn't have done this, literally, without you. Think of it like a commission,' Sam spoke over Rachel.

'Well, I have been thinking of making a comeback. Establish the opening act for the resurgence of Rachel Berry,' she mused almost to herself and Sam laughed lightly. 'Maybe I could pay Brittany to dress like me?'

'Why?'

Rachel looked out the window, a habit of hers Sam had fast picked up on whenever she was embarrassed or self-conscious of what she was about to say.

'One of the main points of ridicule people direct at me is about my clothes. If Brittany wore the same outfits, surely that means its socially acceptable,' Rachel told him, looking a little sad as she flashed her eyes towards him. Sam furrowed his brow at her.

'That's lame. I like the way you dress,' Sam told her plainly.

'You do?'

'Yeah,' this time Sam was the one who couldn't meet her gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. 'You have nice legs. Not that I was _looking _or anything. I mean I have to look but, you know, I wasn't _purposely_-'

'Thank you Sam,' Rachel interrupted him, giggling. 'Noah thinks the same thing too.'

'See? The two of us can't be wrong.'

'_Good night _Sam. I'll see you at school tomorrow,' Rachel deflected, hugging his arm quickly before opening the passenger door of his car.

It puzzled him how contradictory Rachel was. Maybe it was because when he had transferred over to McKinley, Rachel was still under the protective label of Finn Hudson's girlfriend. Sure he had heard people whisper about her, but Sam had just figured they were jealous that Rachel was dating the quarterback. Rachel had always smiled though, through everything, never missing a beat no matter how much people tried to drag her down.

Sam was ashamed he had been one of those that had never spoken up to defend her, something he noticed even Finn failed to do. Now that he had hung out with her, seen how eager she was to help him even when he hadn't asked, Sam couldn't help thinking Rachel Berry was seriously underappreciated. It was time someone showed her how much she meant to them.

When Mr Schue told them that they needed to search for an anthem for Regionals, Sam jumped at the opportunity. He had already ignored the confused glare Finn was sending his way, and the downright hostile vibe Quinn was giving off, to seat himself next to Rachel. The petite brunette had whispered that it was okay to sit with Puck or Mike if he wanted to, to which Sam had responded loudly that he could sit with her if he wanted to. The responding quirk of the lips from Rachel had been worth it.

'Mr Schue, I have something,' Sam spoke up, facing the rest of the club when the Spanish teacher waved him on. 'So I just started my own one man band, the Justin Bieber Experience, with Rachel's help. I guess anything Bieber does is kind of an anthem since he's so, like, legendary. And I want this song to go out to Rachel, because she deserves it.'

Rachel clapped her hands over her face during his rendition of _Baby_, laughing and allowing him to twirl her around at the end of the song. Sam glanced up to see the reactions of everyone else, saw Santana fanning herself and Mercedes pump her fists in the air. Puck, for some reason, was sending him a filthy look.

'Dude, what the hell was with you singing Berry that song?' Puck asked him later in the locker room. 'Is this your idea of a joke? Did Quinn put you up to this?'

'What? _No_,' Sam answered, backing away as Puck clenched his jaw. 'Rachel's cool okay? We've been hanging out and stuff.'

'_And stuff_?' Puck repeated, tone sarcastic.

'Why do you care anyway?' Sam retorted, folding his arms across his chest. 'You're with Zizes right?'

Puck seemed to hesitate before answering. 'Look Rachel's a fellow hot Jew alright? You mess with her and I have J-Money's blessing to kick your lame Bieber ass. Got it?'

'I won't do that to her. She's my friend.'

Puck snorted. 'Whatever. The only guy whose just friends with Berry is Hummel.'

'Aren't you guys friends?' Sam inquired curiously, remembering the bits and pieces Rachel had mentioned about Noah sometimes.

Before Puck could answer Artie and Mike came in, demanding to join his one-man band. Even Puck seemed to warm to the idea when he discovered Rachel would manage them, something which Sam filed away for future notice.

'How about you guys not do something by a lame twelve year old and try and come up with a proper anthem?' Finn chipped in and Sam felt his jaw lock, felt his fingernails dig into his palms when he caught sight of the smug smirk plastered over Finn's face.

'Maybe you can spare the time when you aren't scammin' on other peoples girlfriends?' Sam cracked sharply before walking out the door, exhaling a long breath when he spotted Rachel up ahead.

'There you are! I've just discovered there's an audition for _Avatar on Ice _and I thought you might be interested. How well can you skate? I think they might be willing to be lenient on that considering you've told me your fluent in the language those blue people speak.'

'Na'vi,' Sam corrected her absently.

'Sam? Are you okay?' Rachel asked, peering up at him in concern. Something inside him warmed at the sight and Sam slung an arm around her shoulder.

'Yeah I'm fine. By the way we got three extra members for the Justin Bieber experience. Artie, Mike and Puck-'

'I'm sorry did you just say _Noah_?'

'Dude seemed pretty into it when I dropped your name,' Sam stated innocently, raising an eyebrow when Rachel's cheeks tinged pink.

'Well we'll have to do something about his hair then,' Rachel told him firmly, brushing by Sam as he held open the front door for her. Catching sight of Puck, Sam nodded farewell to find Puck staring intently at Rachel instead.

_Huh. This is new._


	3. Chapter 3

Puck caught sight of Rachel at her locker, her head turned towards a pink sheet of lined paper stuck onto the inside of the door. Seeing the slump of her shoulders Puck pulled the grey hoodie over his head, making sure the wig Sam had given him was still in place.

One line, looped in her tight cursive, made Puck frown as he drew closer to the petite girl.

'Who the fuck wants to see a _Avatar on Ice_?'

Rachel whipped around, a hand resting over her heart. Letting out an irritated sigh she sent him a dark look, resting a hand on her hip.

'It's just something I thought Sam would be interested in. Considering I too am going through a break up, I know that sometimes its good to distract oneself during times of emotional transition,' Rachel informed him. Her eyes flicked up to the fringe of hair covering his forehead, lips quirking up to a smile.

'You look ridiculous.'

'Whatever. Probations totally fucked over my pool cleaning business. Mum's been on total lockdown since I came back. Figure her and my probation officer will be cool with me singing at lame Bat Mitvahs to earn some dough,' Puck said, leaning against the bank of lockers. Rachel regarded him thoughtfully, her gaze touching his face and dipping into cracks that he had worked hard to conceal.

'You know if you need anything, I'll be sure to help. In fact, I can attend your next meeting with your probation officer to assure her that this Justin Bieber Experience won't violate any of the conditions they must have imposed on you,' Rachel told him gently. Puck turned away from her concerned gaze, swallowing.

**His stint in juvie had put a strain on his relationship with Abigail Puckerman. Puck remembered the utter disappointment colouring his mother's face when he had walked out of the Allen County Juvenile Detention Centre, the worn down Toyota she had traded the SUV he had used to drag out the ATM sitting like a testament next to her. The ride home had been silent and Puck had spent the drive clenching and unclenching his fists. Abigail had drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, a sure sign that whatever was churning up inside of her was going to be let loose. Sure enough, the minute she had closed the door behind her, Puck found himself facing the dark eyes his younger sister had inherited.**

'**Things have got to change Noah,' his mother had breathed out, sounding tired. 'I know things have been hard but you're my baby. I don't want you throwing your life away because of stupid decisions you make now.'**

'**I know Ma.'**

**Abigail shook her head, a hand reaching out to cup his face. Puck leaned into her touch, reveling in the comfort he drew, a comfort he had missed. Being surrounded by guys twice his size had been an educational experience. For the first time in his life Puck had experienced genuine fear, walking around with his eyes trained down and keeping to himself. The first and only time he had started a fight over an Eggo had ended up with him in the infirmary, his nipple ring torn out and his stomach bruised. **

'Nah it's cool,' Puck blinked out of his thoughts. 'Artie's pretty cool. He's got Ms Watkins eating out of the palm of his hand. Says he's a good influence on me.'

'You should listen to her,' Rachel angled her head away to glance at the textbooks she kept inside her locker. 'You've always been a good student Noah. You just needed someone to guide you a little bit.'

'Yeah, yeah. God. I don't need you raggin' my ass about grades too,' Puck grumbled. When Rachel didn't reply he saw that she was lost in thought. 'Hello. Earth to Berry.'

'I saw Finn and Quinn when you were performing _Somebody to Love_,' Rachel said, still keeping her face away from him. 'He had his arm around her.'

_Shit._

'He walks around with his arm around her,' Rachel continued, almost to herself. 'He rarely did that with me. Sometimes he wouldn't kiss me when they were people around. I always forgave him but now…' She sighed, glanced up at him. 'You must think I'm pathetic.'

Puck wondered whether to tell her the truth, instead opting for the softer approach when he took in her downtrodden expression.

'Hudson's a douche, alright? He's not winning any awards for Boyfriend of the Year. So I say fuck him. If he didn't know what a great catch you were, then be glad he left your ass.'

'You think…I'm a great catch?'

Puck shifted uncomfortably. 'Don't make a big deal out of it alright? You were like chill to be with that nanosecond we were together. Finn's pea-sized brain probably couldn't cope with how awesome you are.'

'Thank you Noah,' Rachel smiled, eyes glassy. 'That's incredibly nice of you to say. And completely unexpected.'

Puck hummed under his breath, saw Rachel slam her locker shut and blurt out that he had given her a splendid idea, thanking him again before hurrying off. Puck saw her brush by Sam on her way, briefly speaking to the blonde before disappearing around the corner.

Later at glee, Puck picked his way to the back of the choir room, nodding at Lauren as he passed her by. Ever since singing her that song in glee, and after their non-date at Breadstix, Puck decided that the two were better off as friends. They hadn't made a huge announcement about it or anything, but Puck didn't think it was anyone's business anyway.

'Dude, Coach Sylvester keeps asking me to join the Cheerios. I keep telling her I'm not a chick but I don't think she believes me,' Sam said as he collapsed into the chair next to him. Puck snickered under his breath, grateful for the first time since Schue had let Sue into the club.

'Shut up asshole,' Sam sulked. Before Puck could reply Rachel walked in next to Brittany, who was strangely dressed almost exactly like Rachel. Despite the fact that the tall blonde had the body to pull off the sweater and skirt combo Berry usually worked, Puck couldn't help admiring the effect the clothes had on Rachel.

Puck had always known that lying deep underneath that tightly wound persona was a sex shark waiting to be unleashed. He was proven right that week he had Rachel to himself. The way she licked her lips, ran her hands down her body, and the little flirtatious movements Rachel made through her performance of _Take Me Or Leave Me _from RENT provided him with even more evidence.

'Close your mouth man. Its embarrassing,' Sam whispered after Rachel had directed the last verse towards Finn, hugging Mercedes and flipping her hair over her shoulder pointedly. There was no mistaking the red hue that crept up over Finn's neck, nor the way Quinn sat beside his tall frame with a scowl colouring her features.

'Did you like it?' Rachel asked under her breath, bypassing her seat in the front to sit in between him and Puck.

'S'fuckin' hot,' Puck remarked casually, draping his arm over her chair. Sam noticed that Rachel's features brightened at the left tackle's words, leaning back in his own seat with a contemplative look.

Sam didn't know what to think until two days later, when Mr Schue asked them to vote on whether to do SING or compose an original song as Rachel suggested. While everyone in the club raised their hands for the former, Sam found he wasn't the only one who disagreed.

'Rachel's got a point. Won't writing our own shit make us stand out more?' Puck questioned, folding his arms across his chest.

'Please Puckerman. There are easier ways to get under RuPaul's skirt,' Santana retorted casually, examining her nails. Rachel coloured and Puck glared at the Latina.

'Lay off San,' Sam shot out.

'Might have some competition with Fish Lips there though. Tell me Rachel, is it true that the bigger the lips the better the head?'

'That's _enough _Santana,' Mr Schue cut in, as usual way too late. Rachel was already racing out the room, Finn at her heels.

'What the hell is your problem Lopez?' Sam heard Puck yell in the background as he followed Rachel's steps, stepping out into the hallway to hear voices.

'Why couldn't you have shown me your support _inside _Finn? Why do you only say these things when we're alone?' Rachel bit out, her hands cradling her elbows.

'Rachel-'

'No, I don't want to hear your excuses,' Rachel interrupted.

There was a thick moment of silence and Sam debated whether to step out.

'The Rachel Berry I knew was in there today. The girl I met at the start, the one who knew what she wanted. She's not all the way together yet, but she's getting there,' Finn said and Rachel refused to meet his gaze.

'Did you really think hanging out with Rachel was going to make me jealous?' Quinn whispered at his side. Sam saw Finn begin to walk towards them, raised an eyebrow as he regarded his ex-girlfriend with a neutral expression.

'You cheated on me Quinn. I couldn't care less what you think of me and Rachel,' Sam answered, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he bounced his shoulder off Finn, hard.

'Can you take me home please?' Rachel murmured when Sam drew within hearing distance. Chest throbbing as well, Sam placed a comforting arm over Rachel as he led her towards the exit. He caught a glimpse of blonde curls waving over Quinn's shoulder on the way out of school parking lot, turned the music up louder the drive away the thoughts pounding through his head.

'So much for my comeback,' Rachel's soft pronouncement filtered through.

Sam remained silent, not knowing what to say.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel sat at the piano, biting her lip as she scrutinized the notes scribbled onto a piece of staff paper. Her discussion with Sam yesterday had been illuminating and had spurred her on to prove to New Directions that writing original songs for Regionals was simply not open to debate.

'**It just frustrates me how he's always done this!' Rachel griped, gripping the glass of soy milk tighter. 'When we were alone he was always full of praise. But the minute another person wanders into his line of sight, Finn simply reverts back to that pack mentality I have always had a problem with.'**

**Sam murmured a response. Rachel studied her friend, took in the way he never took his eyes off her kitchen countertop. **

'**Sam?' She pushed gently. Something in her voice made him look up and it broke Rachel's heart to see the devastation buried behind his blue eyes. Not knowing what to say, already aware of the depth of his feelings for Quinn, Rachel reached across and squeezed his hand.**

**The broken smile she got in response was a start.**

'What's up my hot little Jewish American Princess?' Puck's voice sounded from behind her. Rachel rolled her eyes at his nickname, shifting slightly in surprise when he collapsed onto the bench beside her.

'Hello Noah,' Rachel greeted him cautiously. 'Is there something I can help you with?'

'Dude, what the hell is _this_?' Puck said instead, reaching out for the staff paper she had arranged neatly on the shelf.

'_Nothing_,' Rachel hissed, wondering when Sam was going to be here. He had said this morning that he would be more than happy to give his opinion on her first draft. Puck ticked up an eyebrow when she swatted his hand away.

'Hey Rach. Puck,' Sam said in confusion, spotting his friend beside Rachel.

'Am I interrupting something?' Puck asked, and Rachel wondered why he sounded so irritated.

'Actually-'

'Hey since Puck's here maybe he can listen to what you wrote too?' Sam suggested innocently enough. Rachel felt her nerves spike.

'Dude did you write a song?' Puck's tone of shock had Rachel bristling a bit.

'Yes. Since Mr Schuester refuses to acknowledge the validity of my suggestion, I've decided to let my actions speak louder than words in this case,' Rachel told Puck, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. She took in the strong curve of his jaw, the faint stubble on the side of his scalp. It had never escaped her notice that Noah Puckerman was indecently attractive. That brief week they had dated was evidence enough.

_He's with Lauren now Rachel. And you don't need to be distracted by a boy._

'Well let's hear it then,' Puck leaned back in his seat as Sam dragged a stool over.

'You're staying?' Rachel felt her voice start to squeak.

'Yeah. I stuck up for you too you know. I want to see those bitches when you blow them away with your lyrical awesomeness,' Puck commented casually, earning a laugh from Sam.

Rachel cleared her throat, shooting Sam a nervous look. She wasn't _prepared _for Puck to be here, especially considering that she wasn't at all sure how her first stab at songwriting was.

'Ray?' Sam questioned gently and Rachel felt herself relax at his voice, sucked in a deep breath. She was sure Sam would soften whatever harsh criticism Puck would send her way. Tentatively she stretched her fingers out on the keys, closed her eyes as she started to play the opening bar. The words she had sketched out last night flowed out and Rachel felt her spirits lift when no one interrupted her first verse.

_My headband_

_You're my headband_

_Wrapped right around my melon_

_You're a product like Magellan_

Something warm pulled her fingers away from the ivory keys. Puck felt something course through his arm at the touch, saw Rachel's eyes fly open at the same time.

'Excuse me-' Rachel glared at him, sounding indignant.

'Please tell me you did not write a song about your fucking headband,' Puck interrupted her, voice flat.

'The first lesson in songwriting is to write about the stuff you _know _Noah,' Rachel informed him primly. 'And you can let go of my hand now. I won't _offend _you by playing something I spent a considerable amount of time and effort on.'

Puck smoothed his thumb over her knuckles briefly, instinctively, before letting go. He hadn't even noticed that he had been holding her hand still.

'I think what Puck's trying to say is that you've got all this untapped frustration inside of you, right?' Sam chipped in, drawing Rachel's gaze away from Puck. Puck, for his part, stretched out his arms, which brought him closer to Rachel. He smiled internally when she didn't shift away from his touch.

'You want me to write about Finn?' Rachel asked, and even talking about the giant teenager made her voice sound uncertain. Sam seemed to sense this too, getting off his stool and resting a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

'I'm not asking you to pour your heart out right away, but maybe you can write about some other life experiences? Like your first party or something?'

'My first party?' Rachel said, somewhat bitterly. 'In case you haven't noticed Samuel, I've been designated as a social pariah since my introduction to McKinley High. I haven't even had a drink!' The last part ended in a wail but it was the first part that had Puck's gut clenching in guilt.

'Then have a party,' Puck suggested. 'Just like invite the glee kids and get some experience or whatever. Hell invite Kurt and that Gap ad he's gaga over too.'

'None of them would come, except Kurt and Blaine,' Rachel answered him, looking disheartened. 'They all _hate _me Noah, don't you remember?'

'Fuck that noise. They don't hate you. I don't,' Puck told her firmly, glad to see a soft smile pull at Rachel's features. 'Look me and Sam will set everything up. You just let us use your house alright? I promise to not let shit hit the fan in that stupid Emmy basement you have.'

'It's an _Oscar_…nevermind. It doesn't matter,' Rachel shook her head. She swung a hopeful gaze between Sam and Puck. 'You would really do that for me?'

'What are friends for, right?' Sam replied. Rachel brightened noticeably, sweeping Sam into a hug before doing the same with Puck, who wrapped his arms around her small frame.

_She fits dude._

'I'll call Kurt right away and let him know!' Rachel told them, clasping her hands together in excitement before rushing out the room.

'Dude, you're gonna have to handle getting the booze. Bein' on probation means I can't drink or be seen with that shit unless I want my ass handed to me,' Puck told him, glancing towards the door.

'You can be like in the general vicinity of alcohol though right?' Sam wondered. Puck clapped him on the shoulder, told him he'd just have to tell his mother and probation officer where he would be and not mention the underage drinking. Abigail already thought the sun shone out of Rachel's ass, so he didn't see a problem getting permission.

'Hey you mind inviting Quinn and Finn?'

Puck blinked in surprise. 'You sure you want those two there?'

Sam heaved out a tired sigh. 'Not really. But I figure Rachel and I need to get used to those two being together. May as well do it sooner rather than later.'

'You sure Rachel's gonna be down with that?' Puck wanted to make sure. Sam gave him an odd look before smirking.

'It's on her path to recovery list she showed me,' Sam explained, scratching his temple.

'Of course it is,' Puck muttered, pulling out his phone to text Mike, knowing that the dancer would inform the rest of the gleeks.

'Just make sure you and Lauren don't, like, do anything NC-17 in Rachel's house,' Sam laughed on his way out. Puck scoffed.

'Me and Zizes are over dude. Been that way since V-Day,' Puck retorted, not missing the astonishment on Sam's face.

'Really?'

'Yeah really Guppy Lips,' Puck shot back, frowning at the grin on Sam's features. 'What the fuck are you so happy about? You got wood for Lauren or something?'

'_No_,' Sam protested, rather vehemently. 'She looks like she could snap me in half. Always wondered when she would do that to you.'

'Fuck off,' Puck grumbled. 'We're keeping this shit on the DL though. Got it?'

Sam spread his palms wide in surrender, taking out his phone the minute Puck had disappeared out the door.

_Oh it was on._


	5. Chapter 5

A few hours into the party Rachel swayed on her feet, giggling as she drained the wine cooler in her hands. The long sleeves of her dress tickled her nose and Rachel blinked to see Quinn on Finn's lap, the tall quarterback whispering something into her ear. Feeling her chest squeeze, Rachel decided she needed another drink.

'You sure you need another one?' Puck's voice drifted into her ear and Rachel flashed her gaze upward, startled to see him so close to her. The heat from his body seemed to cling to her skin and Rachel saw the bottle of water in Puck's hands.

'Noah, aren't you going to drink anything?'

'Fuck I wish. Being bounced from juvie early means zero alcohol,' Puck commented dryly, shrugging his shoulders.

'Well I think that's admirable. I know how daunting peer pressure can be,' Rachel told him firmly as she uncapped another wine cooler.

'Yeah, clearly,' Puck said, arching an eyebrow as Rachel took another pull.

'It tastes like _pink_,' Rachel thought she should let him know. Puck smirked and nodded towards Sam when the blonde entered his line of sight. Seeing someone who could understand her pain, Rachel decided it was a good idea to demonstrate that her new friend wasn't alone.

'Sam!' She heard herself exclaim rather loudly before flinging her arms around his neck. Sam stumbled into Puck, who quickly righted the both of them. 'Are you having an absolutely fantastic time?'

'Your hair smells nice,' Sam answered, burying his face into her hair. Rachel felt his arms come around her and sighed into his embrace. Tilting her head up, she caught sight of his lips and wondered it would be like if she kissed him. It was a stray, random line of thinking that sprouted another idea.

'Who wants to play spin the bottle?' Rachel called out, heartened when everyone agreed. That feeling increased when she saw Quinn scowl in Finn's direction when Blaine dragged Rachel's first love into the circle.

_He got my heart and then he crushed it with those clumsy hands…_

Everything else that happened flew by in a daze. Rachel found her head spinning along with the plastic bottle in the middle, Puck's shoe brushing her thigh and Sam directly across from her. It seemed like fate when the bottle landed on Sam during her turn. Delighted Rachel crooked her finger towards Sam, who gave her a sloppy smile before complying. Someone grunted behind her but Rachel took no notice, the only thing going through her mind was that Finn would be front and center while she sampled those lips.

Rachel closed her eyes and leaned into Sam, felt his lips touch hers. The other boy seemed hesitant, almost unsure but Rachel liked the thrill that shot through her at the contact, the cheering giving her the encouragement she needed to thread her fingers around his neck and across his cheek to deepen the kiss. Sam responded enthusiastically and Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, pretended that she was kissing someone else.

_She wondered if Sam was doing the same._

'Alright, c'mon guppy face,' Puck said, roughly hauling Sam back. Rachel listed forward, palms stretched out to catch her fall. Staring at Sam, she said the first thing that came to mind.

'Your face tastes _awesome_,' Rachel breathed out, mouth splitting into a grin. 'Looks like I found a new duet partner!'

Sam allowed her to grasp his hand, let her pull him onto the stage and accepted the microphone Rachel placed into his grip. Sam didn't know if those brown curls always framed her face just so, wondered why she didn't do it more often.

'I like your hair. It's pretty,' Sam blurted out suddenly and Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist in response. He smoothed his hands down her head, relished when she burrowed herself deeper into his embrace.

_What are you doing Evans?_

'Sing with me?' Rachel asked him softly and Sam knew he couldn't deny her, nodding mutely as Rachel started off the first verse.

**[Rachel, ****Sam****, **_**together**_**]**

**Stay with me, baby stay with me, ****  
><strong>**Tonight don't leave me alone. ****  
><strong>**Walk with me, come and walk with me, ****  
><strong>**To the edge of all we've ever known. ******

**I can see you there with the city lights, ****  
><strong>**Fourteenth floor, pale brown eyes. ****  
><strong>**I can breathe you in. ****  
><strong>**Two shadows standing by the bedroom door, ****  
><strong>**No, I could not want you more than I did right then, ****  
><strong>**As our heads leaned in. ******

_**Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be, **__**  
><strong>__**But with my eyes closed all I see **__**  
><strong>__**Is the skyline, through the window, **__**  
><strong>__**The moon above you and the streets below. **__**  
><strong>__**Hold my breath as you're moving in, **__**  
><strong>__**Taste your lips and feel your skin. **__**  
><strong>__**When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly. **_****

**Stay with me, baby stay with me, ****  
><strong>**Tonight don't leave me alone. ****  
><strong>**She shows me everything she used to know, ****  
><strong>**Picture frames and country roads, ****  
><strong>**When the days were long and the world was small. ******

**He stood by as it fell apart, ****  
><strong>**Separate rooms and broken hearts, ****  
><strong>**But I won't be the one to let you go. ******

_**Oh, I'm not sure what this is gonna be, **__**  
><strong>__**But with my eyes closed all I see **__**  
><strong>__**Is the skyline, through the window, **__**  
><strong>__**The moon above you and the streets below. **__**  
><strong>_**  
><strong>**Hold my breath as you're moving in, ****  
><strong>**Taste your lips and feel your skin. ****  
><strong>_**When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly. **__**  
><strong>_**  
><strong>**Don't run away... ****  
><strong>**And it's hard to love again, ****  
><strong>_**When the only way it's been, **__**  
><strong>__**When the only love you know, **__**  
><strong>__**Just walked away... **__**  
><strong>_**If it's something that you want, ****  
><strong>**Darling you don't have to run, ****  
><strong>**You don't have to go ... ****  
><strong>

Sam stared at Rachel, mesmerized.

****_**Just stay with me, baby stay with me…**_

'Alright all you losers out!' Puck shouted at the end of the song, clenching his fists. Sam furrowed his brow in confusion as Rachel expressed her dismay.

'Berry you're drunk out of your mind and I'm not gonna let you do something you're gonna regret,' Sam heard Puck whisper harshly into Rachel's ear as Kurt herded everyone out of the basement.

'I am perfectly _fine _Noah. Yes perhaps everything seems a little brighter, but this is a _life experience _and I simply won't allow you to cut it-'

'Chang, get Bieber home alright?' Puck turned his head away from Rachel, causing the petite girl to sputter in indignation.

'Why can't I stay here?' Sam pouted, suddenly deciding that it would be a bad idea to leave Rachel's side. He had watched the hurt and anger flash through her face throughout the night, the whiskey he had snagged from the Berry liquor cabinet making the sting in his heart throb a bit less steadily. Sam felt himself speculating whether he should kiss Rachel again, turned over whether it would make her feel less alone just like it had done for him.

'Because looking after Rachel is my job, not yours,' Sam thought he heard Puck mutter under his breath as the taller boy propelled him towards Mike, who was Tina's designated driver. Rachel said something as Mike gently led Sam up the stairs, and Sam turned his head to see Puck roll his eyes.

'Rachel's a good kisser,' Sam told Mike after they had dropped Tina home. Sam had felt like a voyeur, watching the almost tender way the couple interacted on the Cohen-Chang's porch. Anyone could tell, just by the way Mike looked at her, that the Asian cared deeply for his girlfriend.

_Just like I cared for Quinn, except it wasn't enough._

'Really?' Mike responded, almost conversationally.

'Maybe I should kiss her again,' Sam mused, his vision blurring. 'Maybe then she wouldn't feel like shit all the time too.'

'Go to sleep buddy,' Mike's voice was barely heard.

Sam succumbed to the darkness easily, the last thing flashing through his head an image of a girl with pale blue eyes always standing out of his reach.

**a/n: song is "kiss me slowly" by parachute.** **if you're reading this, please review and let me know what you think! **


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel glanced at the clock, nibbling on her bottom lip. It was close to seven and Sam would be here any minute now. Sucking in a deep breath, she fingered the red chiffon dress she had purchased at the mall this afternoon. Kurt had deemed it a success, declaring it subtly enticing while keeping her demure persona intact. Rachel had just thought the dress made her feel more feminine.

The sharp trill of her cell made Rachel jump.

'Hello?'

'Sup. You feeling better?'

'Much. Thank you for the bottle of Gatorade this morning Noah,' Rachel answered, leaning back on the sofa and tucking her legs underneath her thighs.

'S'no big. Considering this was the first time you got completely plastered, I figured I best save you from dying the minute you woke up.'

'I doubt I'll be consuming any alcohol in the near future. Was your mother upset that you stayed over? I can explain to her-'

'It's fine. So…you busy tonight? Thought we could hang.'

Something thrilled inside of her and Rachel wondered why, before squashing the excitement growing at Puck's words. She recalled the curious expression Kurt had sent her way when he had spotted Puck on his way in. Rachel, head pounding, had simply shrugged her shoulders and repeated what Noah had told her – that he was just looking out for his fellow Jew. Kurt had rolled his eyes before dragging her up to her room to discuss her kiss with Sam.

'Oh. I've actually got plans tonight,' Rachel told Puck, wondering why she felt guilty.

_Sam kissing you had to mean something. You liked the way he kissed you, and you wanted to kiss him back. Going on this date lets you explore your options._

_It makes you feel needed._

'Yeah?'

'Kurt's coming over and we're going to do facials. I can still feel the alcohol seeping through my pores,' Rachel rushed out, tacking on a laugh at the end for added effect. The doorbell rang.

'You actually let Hummel get near you with that crap?' Puck scoffed. 'Whatevs. You two ladies have fun. I'll catch you later.'

'Goodbye Noah. And thank you for taking care of…things at the party,' Rachel fumbled, almost saying _me_. Puck had probably spent the night tending to her and cleaning up the garbage because his mother told him to. Hanging up, Rachel shoved her phone into a black clutch before heading towards the door.

_This will only be weird if you let it be._

'Hey,' Sam greeted her, giving her an awkward smile. Rachel flashed him a hesitant grin in response, locking the door behind her. 'Your dads not home?'

'Their both working late,' Rachel responded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

'Oh. I see,' Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck as they walked towards his car. Sam held open the passenger door for her before rushing over to his side. Rachel took in his jerky movements, the white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel.

'Sam?' She ventured cautiously. 'If you're uncomfortable doing this-'

'_No_,' Sam blurted out abruptly. 'I mean its just…'

'Weird?' Rachel offered, quirking her lips. Sam let out a long breath.

'Do you think this is crazy? Are we crazy for doing this?' Sam asked, pinching his eyes as if deep in thought. Rachel rubbed her arm, wondering the same thing. After a beat she let her muscles relax, tapped the hand Sam had left on the gearstick.

'I think…I think we owe it to ourselves to see if whatever happened last night was real,' Rachel told him softly. Sam seemed to uncoil at her words, nodding his head in agreement.

'Okay then. Let's start this again. Hi.'

'Hi,' Rachel beamed.

'You look really nice.'

'Thank you,' Rachel reacted shyly.

'I thought we could do dinner at Stix?' Sam suggested hesitantly, as if seeking her approval.

'That sounds lovely,' Rachel assured him.

An hour and a half later, Sam watched Rachel giggle with abandon. He saw the way her face lit up, the dimples that formed at the corners of her mouth showing through as he described a particularly ardent Bieliber who had tried to rip his hoodie off after a gig. After the initial self-consciousness had subsided between the two of them, Sam found himself enjoying Rachel's company immeasurably. There were little things that reminded him of Quinn that she did, but then Rachel would do something completely her own to set her apart.

He had been shocked when Rachel had called him the day after the party, requesting that the two of them go out for dinner. While she hadn't phrased it quite so explicitly, Sam knew she was asking him out.

_She's your friend Sam. _

_Yeah, but remember the way she made you feel less alone._

_Isn't that a bit selfish? Rachel isn't your rebound girl._

_She's not._

He had agreed and now the previous doubts swirling through his brain were quiet. Instead Sam felt something warm when he placed his hands over Rachel's at dinner, a heat that crept up his arm to his chest when she started playing with his fingers almost subconsciously.

'Well look who we have here,' Puck's voice sounded from behind him. Sam noticed that Rachel looked a bit pale before he twisted around to regard his friend.

'Hey man,' Sam said, brow furrowing when Puck narrowed his eyes at Rachel.

'Noah, I can exp-'

'Save it Berry,' Puck spat out. 'You two have a good time.'

For some reason Sam knew Puck meant the exact opposite.

'Excuse me for a moment Sam,' Rachel told him in a hurry before rushing after Puck, who was stalking towards the exit.

_Is it weird that I feel like the other man?_


	7. Chapter 7

'**Noah! **_**Noah!**_**' Rachel cried out, hurrying to match Puck's speed. Puck, for his part, gritted his teeth and kept looking straight ahead. Turning around meant looking at her, and another glance over her shoulder would mean acknowledging who she had just been with. It made his stomach turn for some reason and Puck **_**really **_**wasn't sure what the fuck was up with that.**

'**Noah would you **_**please**_**-'**

'_**What**_** Rachel?' He finally said, halting his stride. They were in the parking lot, a few feet away from his truck. The few streetlamps that were on glowed dimly, the light from the restaurant spilling out onto the parking lot and casting the asphalt in muted orange.**

'**I just…I mean, that wasn't supposed to happen,' Rachel stumbled over her words and Puck took pleasure in the fact that he had rendered her inarticulate.**

'**What? The fact that you and Evans are creepin' around?'**

'**We are not…' Rachel sucked in a breath, tone frustrated. 'I'm sorry that I misled you over the phone.'**

'**You mean when you fuckin' **_**lied **_**to me?' Puck corrected, arching an eyebrow. Rachel appeared contrite, nibbling on her bottom lip the way she did whenever she was searching for just the right words to use. **

'**Alright yes. I didn't want to tell you about my date with Sam,' she admitted and Puck clenched his fists. **

'**Why the hell not?' **

'**Because…' Rachel seemed at a loss before squaring her shoulders, delivering him a glare. 'I fail to see why I have to explain myself to you. As my friend shouldn't you be-'**

'**We aren't friends Berry,' Puck snapped back, ignoring the hurt that was now visible on Rachel's face. 'If we were, you wouldn't be sneaking around like this and lying straight to my fuckin' face!'**

'**I wasn't **_**sneaking around**_**!' Rachel contested hotly, hands on her hips. 'I just wanted to see whether what transpired between Sam and I at the party was sufficient enough to pursue.'**

'**The guy was wasted when he stuck his tongue down your throat,' Puck told her, tone flat. 'What are you so desperate to shove it in Finn's face that you aren't alone?'**

**Rachel was quiet for a beat too long, enough for Puck to shake his head and bark out a humourless laugh.**

_**Typical. **_

'**It's not like that,' Rachel said quietly. 'Don't I have a right to be happy too?'**

**She said it so innocently, and also a little broken. Puck told himself not to be sucked in by those huge brown eyes, slightly glassy and also pleading. This was the problem with Rachel, Puck decided. She was dangerous and seriously screwed up. After all that time spent with Finn, Puck had watched the once determined girl he had grown up with around the synagogue melt away into someone he could scarcely recognize. There were fleeting glimpses of her now though, and Puck chalked it up entirely to the fact that she wasn't anywhere near Hudson's toxic presence.**

_**Who knew Quinn Fabray could actually bring joy to someone's life, no matter how indirectly?**_

**Puck heaved out a sigh, pushed away the anger that was still simmering under his skin when an image of Rachel's hand over Sam's flashed through his mind. **

'**Whatevs. I'm out,' Puck said curtly, spinning on his heel and heading towards his truck.**

'**You don't get a right to be angry, you know?' Rachel's shout made him pause. 'You have Lauren. You have **_**someone**_**. Is it so wrong that I want that for myself?'**

**Puck didn't bother to correct her, starting the truck and driving away without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror.**

Since then Puck had studiously avoided Rachel and Sam. It was an art he had perfected after Beth had been born, when he had simply wanted to get through the day without engaging with anyone around him. He had seen Rachel attempt to talk to him once or twice during Glee, only to falter when he struck up a conversation with Lauren.

Sam, on his part, had seemed confused at the sudden cold shoulder from Puck. While Puck had debated cutting the kid some slack, seeing the blond seated next to Rachel was enough to squash any feeling of remorse for his behaviour towards the guy.

_Why the hell are you so upset in the first place? Do you like Rachel or something?_

_I'm just looking out for her. Someone has to. Besides, its not like I didn't do anything to mess those two lovebirds up. Remember my lips on hers?_

_How could I forget? Fuck making out with Rachel is never a bad thing…_

_Then why did you stop it?_

_Because, idiot he may be, Finn's still my boy. And Rachel would have regretted it after. Cutting and running was the smart thing to do._

_Or the dumbest._

'Yo Puck. Hello?' Someone waved a hand in front of his face. Puck scowled, batting away the offending appendage. 'Finally. Where the heck were you?'

'You need something Chang?' Puck said, rolling his shoulders as he took a drink of water. He squinted his eyes into the late afternoon sun, hearing the dull thud of helmets and pads as Coach Beiste ran through drills with the defensive lineup. The left tackle heard Mike make a noise in the back of his throat.

'Wanna tell me what's been making you so goddamn angry all the time?'

Puck arched an eyebrow at the Asian boy, who returned his stare without blinking. The two had grown closer since last year, what with Finn barely being able to tolerate his presence after Quinn had told him who Beth's father really was. It wasn't uncommon for Mike, Matt (who despite moving to another school district still made a point to keep in touch) and Puck to get together every other weekend and lose themselves in an all-night Modern Warfare co-op.

'Want me to braid your hair while we talk about our feelings?' Puck smirked.

'Fuck off Puckerman. I'm being serious. You've been flattening Evans to the ground every chance you get. The kid hasn't said anything so far, but I've got a pretty good idea about why you're so pissed off.'

'Yeah?'

'Please Puck. You've been this way since Rachel's party. I might have been drunk, but I wasn't blind.' Mike waited patiently for a response.

'We're not talking about this,' Puck stated firmly, rubbing the towel around his neck against his face. He heard Beiste blow her whistle, hung back for a few minutes while the rest of the team filtered past him towards the locker room. Mike seemed to debate whether to press him on the issue, before thankfully clapping Puck on the shoulder and disappearing with the other players.

Tilting his head back, Puck let the stillness of the football field sink in. Realizing that he better haul ass before he was late for his tutoring session with Artie, he paced hurriedly towards the showers. Stopped short at the sight before his eyes when he exited fifteen minutes later.

There, right fucking _there _in front of him, was Sam Evans kissing Quinn Fabray. He watched as the two pulled apart, couldn't hear the words whispered before Quinn left Sam running a hand through his stupid hair. Puck knew the minute Sam saw him, registered the surprise that flittered across the other boy's face for a moment.

'Look man, it wasn't what it-'

Puck didn't let Sam finish, his knuckles landing on the part just underneath Sam's cheekbone.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel pushed around the eggplant parmesan she had made for dinner, thinking maybe she should have waited for both her parents to be home before starting the meal. At least then she could have had her fathers distract her, anything to distract from the thoughts swirling around her head.

Her date with Sam had started out surprisingly well, only for Puck's unexpected appearance to throw a spanner in her carefully arranged plan. The bubble she had created around Sam and herself had exploded viciously at the sight of Puck's angry face, and Rachel winced remembering the conversation that had taken place after.

_Conversation? More like argument._

It was unfathomable why being on rocky terms with Noah Puckerman would affect her so much. While he had made considerable emotional growth since Beth, there were still glimpses of his crass nature that Puck refused to part with. She had mentioned this once to Kurt, who had simply shrugged his shoulders and said that Puck and Noah were two separate entities.

_That's ridiculous. Puck and Noah are the same person, just facets of his personality. One is a defence mechanism…_

A mechanism that largely tended towards bullying and ridiculing his fellow students, Rachel included. Whereas before she would have simply dismissed Puck as nothing more than a teenage boy with the maturity of a teaspoon, Rachel knew better now. She had witnessed firsthand the turmoil Puck had gone through after giving up his daughter, the almost steadfast dedication to prove himself after being released from juvenile hall. Somewhere along the way they had become friends…at least Rachel _hoped _so.

_Why does it even matter? Sam said he had a wonderful time. Maybe my stomach didn't exactly erupt in butterflies but I'm sure, given time-_

The doorbell interrupted her and Rachel put down her fork, wondering who it could be. Kurt and Mercedes were with Blaine at the Lima Bean, an offer Rachel had turned down because she wasn't quite ready for a full blown Spanish Inquisition into her night with Sam quite yet. Handling Kurt was almost like dealing with a Great White Shark sometimes, Rachel chuckled to herself as she tipped up on her toes to peer through the peephole. The sight that greeted her made her gasp, swinging the door open to see Sam with a faint bruise on his cheek.

'Sam! What happ…Noah?' Rachel asked, seeing Puck with his arms crossed behind Sam. 'Was there a fight? Should I alert the authorities?'

Sam opened his mouth, letting out a grimace of pain when Puck laid a heavy hand on the blonde's shoulder.

'Evans here has something he needs to tell you,' Puck said, and Rachel furrowed her brow at the almost vicious tone buried inside the words. She darted her eyes between Sam and Puck, her stomach twisting slightly. Catching the pleading look in Sam's gaze, Rachel straightened her shoulders.

'Noah, I don't think-'

'Fuck no. I'm makin' sure he tells the _truth _about what he did.'

'What he did?' Rachel repeated, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu creep over when there was a flash of guilt across Sam's features.

_That's how Finn used to look…_

'Noah,' this time she made sure to sound firm. 'I think Sam and I need to have this conversation. _In private_.'

'Hell-'

Grasping Sam's hand she tugged the blonde forward, in the process catching sight of the split skin on Puck's knuckles. Something clicked into place.

'Did you _hit _him?' Rachel demanded, outraged. Puck's green eyes flashed dangerously.

'Yes. And I sure as hell would do it again.'

'Noah Elijah Puckerman, how _dare _you even _think_-'

'Guys!' Sam cut in loudly, earning himself two heated glares. 'Puck, you can wait outside the door while I talk to Rachel.' He saw Rachel start to protest. 'He's not going to leave, Rach.'

_And I think I have a sneaking suspicion why…._

The throbbing in his cheek chimed in unison with the one in his gut, making Sam feel both tired and remorseful at the same time. Seeing Quinn outside the locker room had been a surprise, one he hadn't been able to discern. The next thing he knew she had kissed him, and the part of him that still longed for her responded without hesitation. It was only when she pulled back, her cornflower blue eyes and blonde hair still perfectly sedate, that Sam realized what had happened.

'You still feel something for me, don't you?' Quinn had whispered in his ear before departing, leaving him reeling from the fact.

'This has to do with Quinn, doesn't it?' Rachel said and Sam blinked, realized that Rachel had closed the front door so that they were alone in the mudroom. Shame tumbled around inside him when he heard the certainty behind Rachel's question, as if she already knew what he was about to say.

'I got out after practice and she was just there, waiting. Then she…she just kissed me and I-'

'I see,' Rachel murmured over his fumbling explanation, hugging her arms around herself as if she was protecting her body.

'I didn't _ask _her to Rachel, I swear. I would never do that to…' Sam trailed off, unsure of what to say.

'It's okay Sam. I mean, we aren't even dating so really I think Noah overreacted a little bit dragging you here.'

Sam thought he gaped a little bit at her response, taking in the almost defeatist way she smiled at him. It was almost as if she had _expected _this to happen to her, and Sam recalled what Finn had done to her and wished Puck had punched him a little harder.

'No Rachel. It's _not _okay that I treated you like this. We went out-'

'Just once Sam,' Rachel placated and this made Sam angry.

'Does that matter? You deserve better than some guy doing this to you _again_! God you should like…slap me. Yeah. Slap me,' Sam announced, tapping his uninjured cheek in invitation. 'Or if you want to kick me too that's fine. Just…would you mind keeping it below the knee?'

Rachel stared at him before abruptly bursting into laughter. Sam watched her helplessly, casting a quick look at the front door as if expecting Puck to burst through at the sudden sound.

'I'm not going to hit you Sam. Though it is very tempting,' Rachel told him, a small smile tugging at her lips.

'Oh. Okay,' Sam replied, trying to suppress the relief he felt.

Rachel seemed to study him for a moment before expelling a heavy sigh, stepping closer towards him. He felt her fingers ghost over his cheek, eyes wincing when she prodded a particularly painful spot.

'Did you see fireworks when you kissed her?' Rachel asked, so soft Sam almost didn't hear her. His throat tightened at her question and he had to look away at her intense scrutiny, comparing the warmth of Rachel to the electric burst of Quinn.

'I really wish I didn't,' he finally admitted truthfully, chest tightening when sadness glazed over Rachel's eyes.

'Thank you for being honest with me,' Rachel said, bestowing a bare smile overlaid with regret. There was glimmer of acceptance as well, and Sam wondered why. 'I think…I think you should go.'

'I'm sorry,' Sam told her hoarsely, desperately wishing he never had to say this to Rachel again. She didn't deserve this horrible feeling, one he was familiar with.

_How could you do this to her? _

'I know,' she answered, somewhat cynical.

_Finn was always sorry too._

The rebuke hung between them, unsaid but still tangible.

'I'll see you tomorrow?' Sam proposed hopefully. Rachel nodded wordlessly and Sam desperately wished to drag her into his arms for a hug. He didn't, knowing it wouldn't be welcome and that he had lost the right to do that anyway. Swallowing heavily he turned away from Rachel and opened the door softly, meeting Puck's accusing glare without flinching.

'She's all yours,' Sam told Puck, meaning every word. Puck narrowed his gaze before pushing by him roughly into the house, closing the door behind him.

_Guess sometimes actions do speak louder than words._

**A/N:**

**OH. MY. SQUEEEE!**

**If you haven't heard, there is this little thing called the Puckleberry Fanfiction Awards. And I (yes ME!) have been nominated for three awards!**

**Best Supporting Character (Brittany Pierce, North)****  
><strong>**Best WIP (North)****  
><strong>**Best Author**

**I'm up against heavyweights so I'm not even considering that I will win, but if you enjoy my work and my stories, I humbly ask that you head over to the sites below and vote for me in these three categories! Pretty please with sugar, cherries and Hershey's chocolate sauce on top!**

**LJ - ****prfanficawards (dot) livejournal (dot) com**

**Tumblr - ****prfanficawrds (dot) tumblr (dot) com**

****Polls will be open for voting within the next few days at the two websites above!****

**I don't know who nominated me, but you are like my hero. I don't deserve your adulation but I will take it!**

**This legit made my YEAR (it's been craptacular so far honestly)!**


	9. Chapter 9

'She's all yours.'

Puck turned over the words Sam had said, the anger and protectiveness that had flared earlier still churning around in his gut. Rachel stood in front of him, hands clasped around her elbows. There was a contemplative look over her features and Puck waited patiently for her to acknowledge him.

'You okay?' He finally asked when Rachel offered silence. The petite brunette jumped slightly, letting her arms fall to her side. Puck took in the slight slump of her shoulders as she gave him a tight smile that leaned towards a grimace.

'Not particularly Noah. But I'll live.'

'Evans is an ass,' he bit out, clenching his fists. Rachel let out a loud sigh at his words, turning on her heel and heading towards the kitchen. Puck followed, watched as she scraped away the remains of her meal into the bin.

'You know I have to appreciate that at least in this case, Sam apologized to me for his transgressions. Finn never did. For some reason he always managed to turn around the situation so that he was the victim,' Rachel mused as she scrubbed the plate somewhat viciously. Puck moved forward cautiously.

'He was honest that he wanted Quinn. That Quinn…' The plate slipped from her hands and fell into the sink with a sharp sound. Puck studied the strained muscles of Rachel's back as her soapy hands gripped the lip of the kitchen sink, her fingers slipping as she leaned forward.

'I thought things were finally going right for me,' he heard her murmur and Puck felt his chest squeeze at the timid vulnerability shining through Rachel's words.

'Hey. Berry. _Rachel_,' Puck said, laying a gentle hand on her arm. She stiffened at his touch and Puck quickly retracted his hands, tamping down the frisson of hurt at her reaction. 'None of this is your fault alright? Those two knuckleheads fucked up all on their own. Finn's a self-centered asshole most of the time and Evans…well-'

'Sam was confused-'

'_Don't _make excuses for that giant-lipped Bieber!' Puck warned her, feeling his jaw clench. 'He screwed up. _He _did. He knows what Quinn's like when she sees other people playing with her toys.'

Puck recalled the times Quinn had fluttered her eyelashes up at him, all sweetness and honey until the moment she didn't have a use for him anymore.

'He saw fireworks when he kissed her. So did Finn. _Both of them_!' Rachel pushed away from the sink and walked around the counter, throwing her hands up in the air. Puck saw the twin spots of colour rise high in her cheeks, took a moment to appreciate the fire sparking behind Rachel's eyes.

'I thought Sam was…I don't know what I thought really. But I had hoped at least that we would be able to commiserate over our mutual heartbreak. And of course there weren't any butterflies in my stomach like with-' Rachel seemed to catch herself, darting her eyes towards him as if realizing she had an audience.

'Like with?' Puck prompted, curiousity settling over him when Rachel bit her lip and waved off his question.

'It doesn't matter. What matters is that…well, I'm not going to let another boy define who I am. I'm going to view this as a life experience,' Rachel smacked a fist onto her open palm in an act of ostensible bravado. 'Something I can utilize for my craft.'

'Err…' Puck didn't know how to respond.

_What the fuck is happening? Don't girls bawl their eyes out and like ask for ice-cream and shit? _

Rachel turned to him with dry eyes, gave him a measuring look.

'While unneeded, I appreciate that you valued our friendship enough to…bring Sam here to me,' she told him. 'Considering that our last exchange of words would have been labeled _confrontational_-'

'About that,' Puck cut her off, running a hand over his strip of hair. 'I shouldn't have said those things to you. Hell if there's anyone who deserves to be happy, its you.'

_Even if the thought of you and Evans made me want to hurl._

Rachel's eyes softened at his words.

'Anyway Lauren and I broke up after V-Day,' he added casually, studiously avoiding Rachel's reaction to his statement.

'Oh Noah, I'm sorry. I know how much you liked her,' Rachel said, just like he knew she would.

'Don't be. We're cool. Better off as friends. Besides she's already got her sights set on removing some guy's tights from another district. Someone she can't snap like a twig.'

'That's…nice,' Rachel remarked lightly. Puck turned to regard her.

'We are friends, you know? You've put up with my shit and been there for me. So, like, sometimes my mouth goes off before my brain catches up.'

'I shouldn't have misled you about Sam Noah,' Rachel told him, sounding contrite. She stared off somewhere past his shoulder. 'I even bought that red dress just so…I don't know. I guess I just wanted a boy to appreciate me for who I was. It was silly.'

Puck let the silence linger for a moment.

'I thought you looked smokin' in that dress,' Puck offered and Rachel blinked, before giving him a grateful smile. Puck wondered whether she believed him, or whether she thought it was merely a platitude meant to make her feel better.

'If you don't mind Noah, I'd like to be alone right now.'

'You sure?' Puck asked.

'I am,' she was already herding him towards the front door, Puck offering token resistance.

'Okay,' he murmured when he found himself on the front porch. 'You're-'

'_Noah_,' Rachel cut him off with fond exasperation. Puck dug his hands into his pockets.

'I don't regret hitting him for what he did, you know? I know you think violence isn't the answer but he just…he got what was coming to him,' Puck said somewhat defensively. He expected a diatribe. He didn't expect Rachel to tip up on her toes, press a swift kiss to his cheek.

'Thank you,' she whispered and he nodded mutely, words escaping him as he felt the tingle sear through his skin.

Puck started slowly down the steps, chanced a glance over his shoulder to see Rachel close the door. The dark blue of her shirt disappeared as he turned his face up to the sky.

Rachel heard the rumble of Puck's truck, pressed three fingers to her lips, and finally allowed herself to cry.

**a/n: this story is back. review to let me know it's been missed! pretty please?**

**also my newest Puckleberry venture is called 'Team Player', and it's going to be my main focus aside from 'Numinous'. because i really like glee crossing over flashpoint. check it out!**


	10. Chapter 10

Rachel smoothed down the lined paper, studied the blurred ink smudged across the margins. The words on the page leapt out at her and she traced the tight, cursive verses with a mounting sense of trepidation. It had been cathartic sitting in her room, pouring out all the pain and hurt contained within her. The arrangement had taken a few days and Rachel had closeted herself up in her room, meticulously working through the notes and music until everything had been just right.

Mr Schue would have to be a fool to turn her down.

'Oh. Hey,' Sam said awkwardly, pulling up short when he spotted her towards the back of the choir room. Rachel felt her chest squeeze slightly at the sight of his ruffled blonde hair, took in the pinched corners of his mouth as Sam regarded her.

'Hello,' she replied. 'Noah isn't here,' she added when she saw Sam's eyes flick around for her new shadow. The visible relief on Sam's face made her let out a small chuckle.

Rachel found herself watching Sam shift around, as if he were uncomfortable in his own skin, and finally decided to do something about the heavy, pressing chasm between them.

'Have a seat,' she told him, her tone brooking no room for argument. Sam complied hesitantly and Rachel tucked her sheet music into her folder. She folded her hands together on her lap and waited.

'I…I'm not really sure what to say,' Sam finally said. Rachel waited a moment before responding.

'I miss my friend,' Rachel admitted, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. Her soft statement elicited a sharp intake of breath.

'I'm not really the best example of one,' Sam retorted bitterly, running a hand through his hair. Rachel turned to face Sam, let her eyes linger on his profile.

'What you did with Quinn, it hurt-'

'Rachel-'

'No, let me finish,' Rachel pressed. 'It hurt because…well because.'

'I know.'

'That's the difference this time. You know it hurt me and you apologized. And you were honest. And, upon further reflection, that means something to me.'

'I shouldn't have done that to you.'

'No,' Rachel sighed. 'But that's in the past and I think we can put this behind us and move on, can't we?'

Sam looked at her. 'You're a really good person Rachel.'

Rachel felt her cheeks heat. 'I'm not.'

'Yeah, you are,' Sam smiled, nudging her shoulder with his. Rachel couldn't help returning the gesture, realizing how much she had missed Sam's levity. She pointedly ignored the scowl Puck sent their way when he walked into Glee practice and saw Sam seated next to her. Kurt watched curiously as Puck dumped his backpack on the floor and gave Sam a heated glare, and moved toward interest when he saw Rachel reach over and give Puck's thigh a sharp squeeze.

'Mr Schue could I speak with you for a moment?' Rachel asked, tamping down the urge to growl when she noticed the obvious irritation plastered on the choir director's face. Kurt thankfully engaged Sam in conversation as she flittered away, Puck slumped down in his seat as he tracked Rachel with his eyes.

It wasn't hard to spot the increasing frustration decorating Rachel's features as she spoke with Mr Schue, and Puck straightened to catch a glimpse of staff paper before Mr Schue blocked the papers from his view.

'Hey Hummel, Berry say anything about writing a song?' Puck asked, barely even glancing at Sam.

'Not to me. But I wouldn't be surprised,' Kurt answered easily.

'What's up?' Puck raised an eyebrow at the large grin Rachel bestowed upon him as Mr Schue resumed practice.

'Later,' she whispered before tapping Sam on the arm.

Puck felt his stomach flare up and then start churning at the end of practice.

'You want to grab a coffee at the Lima Bean?' Puck heard Sam ask Rachel as he was putting away the guitar.

'Of course. I'll just be a few-'

'What the fuck?' Puck heard himself say, Rachel and Sam both stiffening at his tone. 'Did I miss something?'

'Noah, honestly, I'm perfectly capable of-'

'No, let him get this off his chest,' Sam interrupted Rachel gently before staring at Puck. 'Puck's been dying to say something-'

'Hey, you know what asshole, why don't you go fuck-'

'_Noah_!' Rachel all but shouted. 'Sam has apologized and I have accepted-'

'Oh he's apologized?' Puck remarked acerbically. 'Really? He gives you some lame ass words and suddenly all is forgiven?'

'Don't talk to her that way,' Sam took a step towards Puck.

'You really want to start lecturing me on how to treat Rachel right?' Puck scoffed, felt his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand. He felt Rachel sway towards him, the warmth of her skin leeching away some of the tension in the room crawling over his skin.

'Rach, why don't you give me a minute with Puck?' Sam said. Rachel cut her gaze between both boys warily. A moment later she heaved a small sigh.

'Please don't hit each other,' she ruefully requested, Sam readily nodding while Puck gave a tight jerk of his head as Rachel brushed a hand down his arm.

Puck and Sam both waited until Rachel's footsteps were fading before Sam set his bag on the floor, rubbed the back of his head as he considered Puck.

'Why don't you just tell her you like her already?'

Sam's words made Puck's jaw flex. 'This isn't about me. It's about you treating Rachel like shit-'

'I told her I was sorry and she told me she was cool. I was a dick and I'm going to make it up to her by being an awesome friend.'

'You pretty much sucked her face into your freakishly large mouth,' Puck noted. Sam didn't flinch.

'I was a mess…still am a mess over Quinn. Rachel was there for me and I don't know, she was _nice _okay?'

'What the hell? Are you trying to-'

'Look Puckerman Rachel's my _friend_. She's not my…she's not my zing. Finn screwed her over and then I did. You're the only guy whose treated her the way she deserves. It's time you let her know that instead of lurking in the shadows.'

'Rachel's my-'

'She's not just your friend. You care for her. God Puckerman you fucking _decked _me for her. At least try not to insult me by pretending any longer okay?'

Puck glowered, silent.

'Rachel's forgiven both of us even when we didn't deserve it. She's awesome and someone needs to be that for her. Just…think about it okay?' Sam cautiously slapped him on the shoulder, picking up his bag and turning on his heel.

'Evans,' Puck called out. Sam twisted around to acknowledge him. 'Don't mess up again.'

Sam smirked. 'I could say the same to you.'


End file.
